Dear Deadbeat Dad

Dear Deadbeat Dad,

Ya you...you know, the husband who left his wife for greener pastures. The one who thinks his current wife isn’t good enough to be his wife anymore but she’s good enough to raise his children 24/7. Ya, I’m talking to you. Do you have any idea what you are doing to your children? Or your wife who you so casually discarded for someone who makes you feel that illusive butterfly feeling you’ve been craving? Do you get the scars you leave behind? Do you realize that you are NOT a dad? Do you realize that you have no part in raising YOUR children? Do you have ANY idea what your wife now has to deal with on a regular basis because you were too selfish to even stop and see how your kids are struggling to process what is going on to their family that they thought was stable and secure? The anger that comes out at the oddest times...the temper tantrums...the questions. But don’t worry, your wife will take care of that. Go ahead, feel free, pick and choose when you want to be a dad. And, oh, by the way, coming around every 2 weeks for 3 hours does NOT make you a dad nor does it make up for all the time you are missing in their lives. You realize that you DO NOT get this time back, right? While you are frolicking with your new girlfriend who makes you soooooo happy, your kids are angry, sullen, withdrawn and cannot for the life of them understand why you don’t want to live with them anymore. But don’t worry, your wife will answer all those questions. She’ll struggle to be both mom and dad while making sure she doesn’t say anything bad about their dad in front of them. But don’t worry...YOU are taking care of that on your very own! They will grow up and they will make up their own minds about you. And when they see that you never call and you make the obligatory time to be with them on your 2 week visitation schedule (that you came up with on your own), do you REALLY think they are going to marvel at how great of a dad you’ve been? Do you think your daughter will want you to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day? Or your son will want to spend any time at all with his dad once he hits the teenage years? Don’t kid yourself! You don’t automatically get a relationship with your kids just because you happen to be their biological dad...a relationship takes time and effort. Both of which you know nothing about...not with your kids any way. But I’m sure the home wrecker gets ALL your time and attention...GOOD, I hope it’s worth it! I hope on your death bed you say, “I’m so glad I spent so much time with someone who had the nerve to break up a marriage and a family rather than spend time with my own flesh and blood.”

Ya, it’s you, I’m talking to! When you pull your head out of the bubble you currently are living in, it’s going to be too late. You will have nothing and no one. You will be that pathetic 50-year-old man who still thinks he has “it”. Maybe, just maybe, you should listen to everyone else who can see your life is headed nowhere good. Maybe, just maybe, you should put your selfishness aside and think of someone else other than yourself for 5 minutes and open your eyes to the truth...because I promise you, the BS you believe right now, is nowhere near the truth! But you won’t. You are a coward. You are selfish. You are a lot of other things but a father/dad you are NOT!