Dear Suddenly Single Mom

Dear Suddenly Single Mom,

You didn't want this for your life. You didn't choose this. This is NOT how your life plan was supposed to go. You feel abandoned, rejected, betrayed and discarded. You feel like your world is crashing down around you and you don’t want to EVER adjust to this new normal. Life was not supposed to go this way. It’s all you can do to drag yourself out of bed in the morning and when you do it’s all you can manage to feed your kids and hope they don’t see the constant stream of tears running down your face. Blood shot eyes...that’s the NEW normal. Constant exhaustion. You wake up tired. You move from bed to couch and then back to bed again. Did I remember to feed the kids today? You walk around in a haze hoping that tomorrow when you wake up, the nightmare will be over and your husband will walk in and say, “Just kidding, honey. I love you! I’d never choose to leave you for someone who I hardly know!” But you wake up each day and it’s the same. Your heart is heavy. The stress is enormous and you are now faced with making decisions about life that someone in your emotional condition should never have to make...EVER! There are times when you feel so overwhelmed by the enormity of it all, you just want to go to sleep and never wake up. How could someone who vowed to love, honor and cherish you until death do us part, now take that all back and put a condition on his love? How could the one person who was supposed to love you most in this world all of a sudden change his mind after 11 years? WHY is this happening to me?

I am talking to you, my friend! This is what I know for sure...you ARE loved. You ARE special. You DO NOT deserve this. And you can never base your worth on what that other person says about you or has done to you! God loves YOU! And He has a plan for your life. He hurts when you hurt. Unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world and he has given your husband a free choice. And right now, your husband is making some BAD choices which have nothing to do with you. This is about him and his selfish desires. I know it hurts. Believe me, I know! But your kids need you to be the stability in their life and they need their mom. They love you! And God has promised to take care of the widows and orphans...that’s you right now. Lean on Him. He loves you more than you know! And it’s ok to be angry, sad, scared, and hopeless...sometimes all at the same time.

A friend of mine found a fantastic song that I want to share with you that describes what you are going through and I want you to find hope in it. I know I did. It’s by a band called Tenth Avenue North. The song is called “Worn”.

Worn

I’m tired, I’m worn

My heart is heavy

From the work it takes to keep on breathing

I’ve made mistakes

I’ve let my hope fail

My soul feels crushed by the weight of the world

And I know that you can give me rest

So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life

And all that’s dead inside can be reborn

Cause I’m worn

I know I need to lift my eyes up

But I’m too weak

Life just won’t let up

And I know that you can give me rest

So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a hear that’s frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life

And all that’s dead inside can be reborn

Cause I’m worn

My prayers are wearing thin

And I’m worn

Even before the day begins

I’m worn

I’ve lost my will to fight

I’m worn

Heaven come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life

And all that’s dead inside can be reborn

Yes, all that’s dead inside can be reborn

Though I’m worn

Yeah I’m worn

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You are not alone, my friend! Remember that you are worth so much more than you can even imagine! I encourage you to find support from friends and family and as many people as you can. You will need it in the days ahead when you feel like you just can’t go on any more. You must grieve. You are dealing with pain, suffering and loss on top of all the other things you feel. It really would have been easier to deal with death than this horrible emptiness from rejection you now feel. The pain IS real. And it is excruciating. So lean on others. Lean on God. God has an amazing plan for you even though it’s impossible to see right now. Even though you’d rather die than go on right now. There is a light...however small it is at this very moment (believe me, I know...I still don’t see much more than a glimmer...some days none...other days a slight sliver of light at the end of a very long tunnel). Because you are worth so much more than how one person defines you!